RAMBLINGS OF A MAD WOMAN (2) 

Wake up at 8.00am jump of out bed an turn on the heat, crawl back in to bed until the heat kicks in.  As I lay there, I think about my day and what lies ahead.  Breakfast, gym, work. That's it, then once the work is done and the sun goes down and here I sit alone and bored. The only company I have is my nineteen year old daughter pinging me on skype now and again. My life seems so sad and lonely, that it makes me wonder what I did wrong, which path did I go down that wasn't the right one, why am I alone?  why do I not have friends, why am I sitting around asking myself these questions rather than doing something about it all?

Who knows, but at the moment I'm questioning all my decisions and playing what if? What if I hadn't left Gran Canaria? What if I had left and gone to Germany instead? What if I had never left Venezuela? Can't keep doing the "what if's" coz its getting me nowhere fast. Even signed up to dating websites but I don't really get any messages from anyone interesting, most of my messages are from fella's who are missing front teeth and I am rather partial to a full set of teeth! The others look like my Dad!. Not that there is anything wrong with the way my Daad looks, I just don't wanna date him.

Out of pure boredom I start to watch The OC for about the sixth time, and find myself engrossed in each of the Characters, I get caught up in the bitchiness of Summer, and the weird if not likable escapades of Seth, Marissa is just incredibly annoying while Ryan is a rebel without a cause.  Actually sitting here crying at the last episode of the first season, when Ryan decides to go back to Chino to help Theresa coz she´s pregnant. Kirsten is so affected by his departure that she breaks down, which in turn makes me cry like a baby - over a freakin TV show. What is wrong with me?  I really need to find something else to do with my life.  Any how I'm still gonna watch the last episode of The OC now, might as well since I'm  already sobbing like a Rachel Crowe when she got kicked off the X Factor, yes yet another TV show I'm addicted too!